What Happens During a Life Coaching Session?

Discover what really happens when you sit down with a life coach and how coaching can help you move forward.

If you’ve never experienced life coaching before, you may wonder what actually happens during a life coaching session. You may have heard people talk about personal growth, goals, purpose, confidence and creating positive change, but you might still be wondering what happens when you actually sit down with a life coach and start talking about your life.

A life coaching session is a conversation focused on helping you explore what’s happening in your life, understand yourself more deeply, discover what you really want and determine what steps you can take moving forward. Every client is different, so every coaching session can develop in its own way.

You might arrive with a particular problem you want to discuss. You might be struggling with an important decision, have a goal you can’t seem to achieve, or feel stuck and unsure about what needs to change. You may even begin the session believing you know exactly what the problem is, only to discover through the coaching conversation that something deeper is influencing the situation.

That discovery can change the direction of the session and help you focus on what really matters to you.

Here’s a look at what you can expect during a life coaching session.

1: Building Rapport and Getting Comfortable

The first part of a coaching relationship is getting comfortable with each other. If you’re meeting your life coach for the first time, you may feel nervous or unsure about what you’re supposed to say. You may even wonder whether you’ll be able to talk openly about what’s happening in your life.

Building rapport gives you an opportunity to settle into the conversation and become comfortable with your coach. Your coach may begin with some general conversation, ask how you’re doing and learn a little more about what’s happening in your life.

Your coach will also explain what you can expect from the coaching process and give you an opportunity to ask questions. This can help you understand how the session will work and what you can expect from the conversation.

Rapport continues throughout the coaching relationship. Your coach listens to what you say, takes an interest in your experiences and gives you space to express yourself. As trust develops, you may find it easier to discuss things you’ve been thinking about for a long time.

A strong coaching relationship creates an environment where you can feel comfortable exploring your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and goals.

2: Understanding What the Client Wants From the Session

Once you’ve had an opportunity to settle into the conversation, your coach will want to understand what you’d like to accomplish during the session.

You may already have something specific in mind. Perhaps you’ve been struggling with a decision about your career. Maybe you’ve been putting off an important goal, experiencing difficulties in a relationship, or thinking about making a major change in your life.

Just be aware that the direction of the conversation can change as the session develops. As you explore what’s happening, you may discover something that needs more attention than the issue you originally brought to the session.

3: Exploring the Situation

Once you’ve established what you’d like to work on, your coach can help you explore the situation in greater depth.

You may explain what’s been happening and how it has been affecting you. Your coach listens carefully and asks questions that encourage you to examine the situation more closely.

For example, imagine someone comes to a coaching session because they keep procrastinating on an important personal goal. They might say, “I know exactly what I need to do, but I keep putting it off.”

A coach could explore what happens when that person tries to take action. They might ask, “What happens when you sit down to work on it?” or “What are you thinking at that moment?” They could also ask, “How do you feel when you think about getting started?”

These questions can reveal information that wasn’t obvious at the beginning of the conversation. The client may discover that there’s a particular thought, belief or emotion that appears whenever they try to take action.

That gives you something deeper to explore.

4: Asking Powerful Questions

Questions are an important part of life coaching. Rather than simply telling you what decisions to make, a coach uses questions to encourage you to think deeply about your own situation and discover your own answers.

A powerful question can sometimes lead you into an area of your life that you haven’t previously considered. Your answer may lead to another question, which can then reveal something else about your thinking or behaviour.

The purpose of these questions is to encourage self-reflection. Your answers can reveal beliefs, assumptions, fears, habits and expectations that may have been influencing your decisions.

Sometimes you may have lived with a particular belief for so long that you’ve never stopped to question where it came from or whether it still serves you.

A coaching conversation can give you the opportunity to examine those beliefs.

5: Identifying Beliefs and Patterns

As you explore your situation, you may begin to recognise patterns in the way you think, feel and behave.

These patterns can influence the decisions you make and the actions you take. You might discover that you regularly give up when something becomes difficult. You may notice that you keep choosing what other people want for you. You may realise that you’re constantly worried about making the wrong decision.

You may also discover beliefs about yourself that have been influencing your behaviour.

For example, someone might say, “I’m just not confident.”

A coach can explore that belief by asking questions such as, “What makes you believe you’re not confident?” or “Can you think of times when you’ve demonstrated confidence in the past?”

The conversation may reveal that the person has confidence in certain areas of their life and struggles with confidence in others. That creates a more detailed understanding of what they’re experiencing.

Exploring beliefs and patterns can help you recognise the connection between what you think, what you feel and what you do.

6: Creating New Awareness

As the conversation continues, you can begin developing a deeper understanding of yourself and your situation. This is where new awareness can emerge.

You may realise that something you thought was the problem isn’t the underlying issue. You may discover why you’ve been repeating a particular behaviour. You may recognise a belief that’s been influencing your decisions. You may understand why you’ve been avoiding something you’ve said you wanted to achieve.

For example, someone may arrive believing that procrastination is their biggest problem. Through the coaching conversation, they may discover that they’re afraid of completing the project because finishing it would mean showing their work to other people.

They may realise that the procrastination is connected to a fear of criticism.

That new awareness gives them a much deeper understanding of what’s been happening.

New awareness can also change the direction of a coaching session. The client may have started the conversation wanting to solve one problem and discover that another issue is actually more important.

This is one of the reasons coaching can be such an individual experience.

7: Discovering What the Client Really Wants From the New Awareness

Once you’ve gained new awareness, the next step is to explore what you really want from that new understanding.

Your original goal may still be relevant. Your goal may also change because you’ve discovered something deeper.

For example, you may begin a session believing that you want help finding a new job. As you explore the situation, you may discover that you’ve spent years choosing jobs based on what other people think you should do.

You may realise that what you really want is the confidence to make your own decisions and create a career that reflects your own values, interests and priorities.

The focus of the coaching conversation has now changed because your understanding of the situation has changed.

This can be an important moment in a coaching session because the solution needs to relate to what you actually want to achieve now that you have a clearer picture.

8: Exploring Possible Solutions and Options

Once you know what you want from your new awareness, you can begin exploring possible solutions and options.

Your coach can help you consider different approaches and encourage you to think about possibilities you may not have considered before.

For example, if you’ve discovered that a fear of criticism has been stopping you from completing your work, you could explore different ways of dealing with that fear.

You might decide to start sharing your work with one trusted person. You might decide to set smaller goals that allow you to become more comfortable with feedback. You might realise that you need to change the way you respond when someone criticises your work.

Exploring different possibilities gives you an opportunity to consider what could work for you.

You then have the opportunity to decide which option you want to pursue.

9: Setting Goals and Taking Action

Once you’ve explored your options, you can turn your thinking into action.

You may have discovered something important during the session. You may know what you want and have several possible approaches you could take. Now you can decide what you’re actually going to do.

Your coach may help you turn a broad intention into a specific goal.

For example, saying “I want to become more confident” gives you a general direction. A specific action could be, “I’ll make one phone call I’ve been avoiding before Friday.”

Another example might be, “I’ll spend 30 minutes working on my project each morning this week.”

Specific actions give you something you can work on and something you can review later.

Your coach may also ask what could prevent you from taking action and what you could do if that happens. Thinking about potential obstacles ahead of time can help you prepare for them.

The goal is to leave the session with a clear understanding of what you’re prepared to do.

10: Agreeing on the Next Steps

Before the session finishes, you’ll have an opportunity to look at what happens next.

You may have one specific action to complete. You may have several things you want to work on. You may decide that another coaching session would be useful.

Your coach can help you review the commitments you’ve made and make sure you understand what you’re taking away from the session.

Having a clear next step gives you something practical to take away from the conversation.

If you continue with coaching, your next session can provide an opportunity to discuss what happened, what you learned and how you want to move forward.

11: Reflecting on the Session

The final part of the session allows you to reflect on what you’ve discovered.

You may have learned something important about yourself. You may have changed the way you think about a situation. You may have discovered a belief that’s been influencing your choices. You may have identified something you want to change.

You may also have created a goal and decided what you’re going to do next.

Reflection gives you an opportunity to recognise what you’ve gained from the conversation.

Sometimes you’ll leave with a particular insight that continues to make you think long after the session has finished.

Every Coaching Session Can Be Different

There isn’t one conversation that works for every client. You bring your own experiences, beliefs, goals and circumstances into the coaching relationship, so your session will be shaped around you.

One person may need to work through a difficult decision. Another person may need to understand why they keep abandoning their goals. Someone else may want to discover their purpose. Another client may want to build confidence, improve their relationships, change their direction or create greater balance in their life.

The conversation follows what you need to explore.

A session can also develop in an unexpected direction. You may arrive thinking you need help with one particular issue and discover that another issue is more important.

That’s why the process of exploring your situation, asking questions and developing new awareness can be so valuable.

What Can You Take Away From a Life Coaching Session?

A coaching session gives you an opportunity to stop and think about your life in a way you may not normally have time to do.

You can explore what’s happening, examine beliefs and patterns that may be influencing your decisions, discover new things about yourself and determine what you really want.

You can then explore possible solutions and options, set goals and decide what actions you’re prepared to take.

You can leave with a clearer understanding of yourself and a practical idea of what you want to do next.

The value of coaching can continue after the conversation ends because the questions and insights from the session can give you things to think about as you move forward.

Life Coaching Starts With You

A life coaching session gives you time and space to focus on your life.

You get an opportunity to talk about what’s important to you, explore what’s happening beneath the surface and consider what you want to do moving forward.

Your coach guides the conversation through listening, questions and exploration. You bring your experiences, thoughts and answers to the conversation.

Together, you can explore where you are, discover what you want from your new awareness and identify the actions that can help you move toward the life you want to build.

If you’ve been thinking about making changes in your life, achieving a goal, finding greater direction or understanding what’s been holding you back, life coaching could give you the opportunity to explore those areas with someone who’s there to listen and help you work through them.

Your life is shaped by the choices you make, the beliefs you hold and the actions you take.

Taking time to understand yourself can be an important part of deciding where you want to go next.

That’s what a life coaching session can provide: time to focus on you, explore what’s happening in your life and decide what you want to do from here.

Ready to Explore What Life Coaching Could Do for You?

If you’ve been thinking about making a change in your life, working toward an important goal, finding greater direction or understanding what’s been holding you back, I’d love to help you explore what’s possible.

A life coaching session gives you dedicated time to focus on yourself, talk through what’s happening in your life and discover what you really want moving forward. You don’t need to have everything worked out before you begin. We can start with where you are right now and explore what comes up during the conversation.

If you’re ready to take the next step, book a Free Discovery Zoom Life Coaching Session with Build Your Life Today and let’s start exploring how you can build the life you want.